Where to go from here?

So I figured out how to delete my blog and I almost did it. I have discovered as I read that I have little to say that anyone else wants to read. I am a teacher, reading books and talking about it. Not exactly going to get me my own TV show. So there I was. I had my mouse on the button and I couldn't push it. So no matter how many times I post or how many people post back, I am keeping my blog. Why? I really don't know but I got my answer when I suddenly didn't want to delete it.


I have gone off the list, gasp! sigh! I know. I just discovered other books that I wanted to read. Since summer has begun and it is REALLY HOT here in Kansas, I have been staying in my cool, clean house, not spending money and reading. So far since Lord of the Rings, I have read, A Remarkable Woman- The Biography of Katherine Hepburn. Wicked and City of Bones. I have a few things to say about each and then a short rant about our Public Library.

Actually, the rant first. My husband and I are trying to save for a down payment on a house. This means not spending any more money then we have to in order to live. That means for a girl with some free time, staying home and reading. Netflix is only entertaining for so long! This also means that I shouldn't be buying new books for my Nook, so I went to our library. There are several here in Wichita and I went to my childhood library, I don't live right next to it anymore but my work is out there and my parents still live close so I can always give books to my mom to return for me. Since there are so many branches, they trade books back and forth so you can ask for at particular book, the library will find it for you and get it so you can check it out from them! Great! Well I went to get the second book after City of Bones and they didn't have it. So I got Love in the Time of Cholera and went to request the other and then check out. The lady behind the counter was not to happy when I asked to reserve a book. She gestured over to the computers and said, "Don't you know how to work our system? You can do it yourself you know." I was completely taken back and told her that was fine, took my book and left. I get on the website only to discover that if you already have a library card, you can't get on their new fancy system, you have to get another. Doesn't that seem like a waste? Ok, so now that I have typed all this out, it doesn't seem like a big deal. However, I just want my book and I don't want to pay for it. Is that so much to ask?



A Remarkable Woman- Biography of Katherine Hepburn. I found this book on the bookshelf of my parents' house and started to flip through it. I took it home with me after lunch and I really enjoyed this book. She was a very strong woman, a little crazy and an inspiration to me. She did what she wanted, no matter what the audience, her peers or the House Un-American Activities thought of her. I want to be half as strong as she was. A good, inspiring read!



This was a book that I started reading in high school and really didn't like it. So it sat on my shelf for a while until I was ready to give it another shot. The second time was the charm, I found myself drawn into this book. It is a heavy read, lots of political and moral undertones. Are people born wicked or do they have wickedness given to them? My students love to say, "haters gonna hate" but when do those haters get to define who you are? That is the question that this book poses. Good read that makes you think.



After the heaviness of Wicked I was ready for a bit of a lighter read. Connected to Facebook is a website called Goodbooks, on it one of my friends was raving about this book. So I decided to give it a try. It was pretty good. It took a bit to get going but after many twists and turns you arrived safely, only to be left hanging since the series goes on for at least 4 more books and she is currently writing another. I will read the series, I enjoyed this book, but I am not going to rush out and throw elbows to get it.

Next is Love in the Time of Cholera, which is on my list. (yay!)

"Love in the Time of Cholera? More like Love in the Time of don't bother-a."
Robin Scherbasky How I Met Your Mother 

(I am not forming an opinion yet, I just really like this line.)

Gross things

I recently went camping at a camp near Ark City Kansas. This particular camp is located next to the river, surrounded by trees and on a hill. There are some amazing bike rides and hikes and camping to be had. There are also a lot of bugs and poison ivy. I am usually pretty careful but I seemed to have dropped the ball with this trip. I wore bug spray, I had socks and shoes on but I still got poison ivy and some nasty bug bites. I am talking rashes and bug bites that prevent me from putting shoes on. Lucky for me, it is summer and I did not have to go to school. I have spent a few days in the house with the AC on and a fan pointed directly at my feet. I spent a lot of time on Pinterest and my fridge is now housing some great things. I cleaned out the fridge and did some much needed dishes. These past few weeks have been so crazy that I am sad to say that I neglected the house for a bit. Well no more!!

We got some great knives for our wedding a while back and today I was cleaning one of those knives (since I have been told that the washing machine will make your knives dull in a hurry.) I managed to run the blade of the knife next to my finger and it left its mark. Now before you freak out and think that I sliced off my finger, I didn't. It is really a small cut, and a really great knife. The point of all this is the top of the band aid box that I used to bandage my poor, poor finger. The top of this box said, "You are going to be just fine!" Now I know that the box is not a doctor and they really don't know if you are going to be fine but I still felt pretty good reading that.

Since I have had all these rashes I have been on the internet a lot trying to figure out the best way to tackle it. Many medical websites will make you feel that you are on death's door because of a bug bite. Not the band-aid box, it was re-assuring! It said, "You cut your finger, you be smart and take care of it, you will be fine."

P.S. My finger is doing a lot better, as are all of my assorted rashes and bites. I am on steroids now!

The Lord of the Rings!!

     

 Truth is that this year at school, this semester has sort of sucked. When you become a teacher they give you this little schematic that shows how you should feel as a first year teacher. First, in the fall, you are excited and idealistic then as the year progresses, you become a little disillusioned and wonder if you made the right choice in careers. Then you begin to learn and to climb out of the negativity. By the end of your first year, you are a happy camper and a more experienced teacher. Let me just tell you that no one ever tells you about your second year of teaching. As a first year teacher you are simply trying to keep your head above water and keep your kids learning. Now, in your second year, you realize the mistakes that you made your first year and want to fix them. Let me tell you, that is a lot more work. I spent a lot of time being very,very angry at the world. I really struggled. I had some challenging behaviors this year that I didn't have last year. My I-Pod was stolen and I had my first student arrested on drug charges. But now I am three days away from a summer break that I really need, and I am a stronger teacher for it.


Correction, I am now officially on Summer break and looking forward to reading some amazing books and just being me. Not the teacher me, not Mrs. P, just me. The husband and I have camping trips, regular trips planned and in a few short weeks we will be riding across Kansas (blogs on that are promised, that is something I don't ever want to forget). So now I am back and reading to post on what little reading I was able to do this crazy, crazy year! 



I started The Lord of the Rings trilogy a while ago, after I had finished The Hobbit and now I am almost 100 pages from the end of The Return of the King. The truth is that I have started tons of different blog posts on this topic but there are just no words for it. I love these books. I am so tired when I get home and finally get to go to bed that it is wonderful to fall asleep reading this book. 


So in conclusion, I am not going to say much about this book at all. In truth I don't want to. I am worried that whatever I have to say, will not do this book justice. So I am just going to read and enjoy. This is a book about a time and a place with men and elves and hobbits and wizards strive to destroy the most pure form of evil. These men are gallant, swearing their lives to good and to a good cause. People are not like that anymore. There are no Aragorns, no Frodos and certainly no Sams. We can all be like these characters and we can all be like Sauron. It is up to your attitude. it is all up to you. 



I don't know what book will be next. It will be a surprise!! 

Thoughts on a Bike Ride

Today was an interesting day. We have had a difficult couple of weeks at my school. State testing, family problems with students and students in general just wanting it to be Spring Break. On the upside it has been a lot warmer these past couple of days so I can go outside. Yesterday I went running and today I fought the 40 mph winds and went for a bike ride. On this bike ride, I had some interesting thoughts.

First of all. We are working at school on noticing our positive to negative interactions with the students. How much to they hear of us saying negative things to them? How can we get the same results but be positive instead of negative? I thought what if that applied to yourself as well. I have been told time and time again that I am my own worst critic. I always took that as a point of pride, but it really isn't. If you cannot be positive about yourself then who else can? My husband and I are doing Bike Across Kansas this summer and I am sad to say that on some days when we go riding I find myself in the back of the line, cussing at the others in my head. Did I mention that I am ultra-competitive? What if instead of getting mad, I decided to take the advice that we are getting at school and focus on what I am doing well. I started counting sign posts that I passed. I also made a point of looking back and see how far I have gone.

Ok, this is the part where I get a little religious, or spiritual, whichever you prefer. If you don't want to read about my musings over a higher deity then stop here. Remember that movie, V for Vendetta? They say that God is in the rain. Well, I am going to change that a bit. I think that God is in the wind. Here in Kansas there is a lot of wind, today was no exception. I chose this day to ride out for 10 miles in 40 mph winds. So I found myself fighting 40 mph winds and at times getting pushed by 40 mph winds. If we extend our metaphor, that means that I spent part of the evening fighting God and being pushed by God. In both cases, I really like to be pushed more! However, it isn't until you push that you figure out the real power. When you are getting pushed by the wind, you don't really notice that it is there, or the real power of it. However, when you turn, and face it, wow... it is there. The crazy thing is that even when you are facing into the wind, there is still something back there, pushing. Wind whips around, I believe that the wind that is pushing, is God. Not the wind that you are facing.  Isn't that like life? Sometimes you have to face the wind, face the trails that are out there for you, knowing that God will be there pushing. So through all the stuff that is going on right now at school and the death of someone I really looked up to, I know that God is back there pushing. I found myself smiling, even when facing the wind. I am sore, tired and wanting a shower, but I am still smiling.

There and Back Again... A Hobbit's Tale

My earliest memory of The Hobbit is my father reading it to me when I was young. I remember cuddling with pillows as my dad read the adventures of Bilbo Baggins. He loved that book and really wanted me to like it too. I did. When we finished the book, he went on to read The Fellowship of the Ring. At least he started it, I think I finished it on my own. The elves were always my favorite. I for one really like when an author takes a legend like goblins, elves, dwarfs, wizards and the like, and takes it and makes it their own. I will forever think of elves as the elves in this book, no matter what other story comes along and defines them as something else. J.R.R. Tolkien has ruined me for other elves! :-)


I love the way that Tolkien writes. No one writes like Tolkien, no one has and I don't think that anyone will. I feel the same way about Jane Austen. You can always tell if she has written it, because it has a lilt to it. Tolkien is the same way. His writing is unique and many will try to copy it but I don't think that anyone really ever will. For your reading pleasure: "His heart was filled and pierced with enchantment and with the desire of dwarves; and he gazed motionless, almost forgetting the frightful guardian, at the gold beyond price and count." (pg 169) Now, Tolkien could have just said that Bilbo was enchanted with the gold in front of him, but he doesn't. Instead he uses this flowing and descriptive language that really gives the reader a sense of how Bilbo was feeling.


I am going to mention one thing before I move on to more quotes that I love. Tolkien's characters are flawed. There is no character that is perfect. All have faults and all make mistakes. I love that about him. I struggle to embrace my faults and I love that even the heroes in these stories make mistakes and have to deal with them. Tolkien could be considered a Christian writer, he wrote many a speech and essay on the subject. I think that this is the reason his characters are flawed, because humans are flawed. The real judge of a good person, is what they do when they make a mistake, not if they make a mistake at all.


"Above him the sleeping dragon lay, a dire menace even in his sleep. He grasped a great two-handled cup, as heavy as he could carry, and cast one fearful eye upwards. Smaug stirred a wing, opened one claw, the rumble of his snoring changed its note." (pg 168-169) I highlighted this passage for the same reason that I highlighted the other one. Tolkien could have just said that he grabbed the cup and ran. Instead he allows the reader to become a part of the story. The reader feels what Bilbo felt. Hears what he would have heard. Beautiful writing.

"It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live hear him." These are words of advice. Leave out the dragon as a literal object, it is a metaphor. I see it as, if you are threatened by someone who is a part of your life, it does no good to not pay attention to him. I like how it doesn't say that the dragon is all you should think about, just don't leave it out of your calculations. I have a student coming back into my class that got expelled last year, now he is back. It has really been worrying me. If I follow this quote's advice, then I cannot leave him out of my calculations, however I should not lay awake thinking about how terrible it might end up being. 


"His rage passes description--the sort of rage that is only seen when rich folk that have more than they can enjoy suddenly lose something that they have long had but have never before wanted or used." (pg 170) Social commentary anyone? I am blessed, I do have all that I need. Bilbo took a cup from a huge pile of gold, large enough for a dragon to sleep on. The dragon never took notice of it before, not until it was taken from him. Ever notice that? You never miss something until it is gone. 


"Never laugh at live dragons, Bilbo you fool!" (pg 178) Ok, I used to frequent a bar here in town. (I am a teacher, sometimes I just need a beer!) This quote was written on a bathroom stall in one particular bar. I am not sure this is what Tolkien had in mind when he wrote this book. It took me a while to remember where I had read that quote before. But it is true, never laugh at live dragons, it is really not a good idea. 

Last but not least, we have to mention the ring. The one Ring... The ring that caused all the events in The Lord of the Rings, I love how the story flows, there are no holes, the ring is the same ring in both books. Gollum is the same Gollum in both stories, he is still driven by want of the ring. The ring still has power over him. 

The Hobbit is a wonderful story and a great lead-in to the more in depth Lord of the Rings to follow. My perfect pairing for this book is anywhere. It doesn't matter where you are, the story and setting will suck you in. It doesn't matter if you are in a doctor's office, in bed before you fall asleep or in a coffee shop, you will not care. You will be in a world of dwarfs, elves and hobbits. 

I am really excited for the Peter Jackson adaptation of this story. He did the Lord of the Rings justice and if anyone can make The Hobbit come alive, I think he has a good shot. Here's hoping! 


Next up, I may as well keep the trend going, Lord of the Rings it is! Fellowship of the Ring is up first! 

Gone with the Wind

The first thought that pops up when anyone mentions Gone with the Wind I immediately think of the movie with Vivian Leigh and Clark Gable. In fact, while reading this novel, those are the faces that I pictured while I read. The next thought that comes up is the Carol Burnett skit about Gone with the Wind. Carol takes down the curtains so that she has a dress to wear to go woo Rhett Butler out of his money. It is probably the funniest thing I have ever seen. When I was reading the part in the novel where Scarlett does take down the curtains, I was laughing the entire time! Sadly, the last thing that I think of when I hear Gone with the Wind is the novel with 1030 pages. That is where the credit lies. When I saw this book on the list, I was a little skeptical. I am not a high-drama person and this movie was drama to the brim. I chose to read it, regardless of the drama and hype. I was a little excited to see what all the fuss is about.

Truth is, I really loved this book. It did have a lot of drama but it was interesting because of the time period it was set it. I found it cool to tell a story about the Civil War from the South. History always tells of the victors, but there is another side, the losing side. The South was made to look like a villain during history class at times. This was a new and different perspective.

It seems that ever since, I have gotten married I have been drawn to novels that focus on what happens after marriage and after the love story has taken place. Let me just say that if what these novels tell is true, then NEVER GET MARRIED!! I am making broad generalizations here but what I think these novels are really trying to show is that marriage is difficult; especially if you are Scarlett O'Hara, I mean Scarlett Hamilton, I mean Scarlett Kennedy or finally Scarlett Butler. Of course it does make it difficult when you married the person just to get their money, make someone else mad, or to get their money, or to get their money. There is a theme here. Even when Scarlett does marry a person who loves her for who she is, the marriage falls apart. The reader can actually watch it crumble. It is a little heartbreaking, really. She made some decisions that set her up for this, but she felt that she did what she had to do. Marriage is tough and even though Scarlett faced and conquered many challenges in her life, marriage is one that defeated her. I think this happened because to be married is to really open up to someone or (especially in her time) just put up with everything, it also means letting every other man go. These are two things that Scarlett just could not do.

Scarlett makes some decisions that cause a lot of people to either stick with her or to abandon her completely. These decisions you may not like and you may not agree with but given some of the situations she was put in she was doing what she thought was best. Her first marriage to Charles was just unfair. She married him because Ashley was going to marry Melanie and she needed to prove that she didn't care. Charles was infatuated with her, and she used that for her own gain. Not ok. Her second marriage was really just as bad but I think that she did it because she was trying to save Tara and the life that she knew. On the other hand, she did steal her sister's fiance because he had an enough money to pay for the taxes and business ideas she could steal and make money with. Scarlett really had her challenges set out for her. After the war, her mother died, her father had gone senile, her sisters were sick and little help, Melanie had just had a baby and was not up to full strength, taxes were really high on the plantation and she had little money or cotton. She had her work cut out for her. However, her marriage to Frank was really unfair to him because he really cared about her sister, but he was told that she was going to marry another man which was not true at all. So Scarlett got Frank and promised herself that she would be good to him, but the marriage fell apart, Frank died and Scarlett was left as the outsider in all of Atlanta. She went out on her own to run a business when most women or even men did not venture out without protection. Melanie tried to hire someone to protect her, but she managed to make him so angry with her that he refused to drive her around anymore. She placed herself in serious danger. She didn't even take ordinary precautions in order to make herself safe. This was a dangerous time and she knew it, I am not one who thinks that you should run around frightened but I do lock my doors, I do wear my seat-belt, you should take basic steps in order to make sure that you are safe.

I have been talking a lot about Scarlett but I have a theory that Melanie is the real heroine of this story. Everyone loves Melanie and in return she is strong and steady when her friends need her. Many people would think that Melanie would not have survived had it not been for Scarlett. It is true that in the Siege of Atlanta when Melanie was having her baby, she probably wouldn't have survived without Scarlett. However, after the war and even during the Siege and the months at Tara, Scarlett would have gone as senile as her father if it wasn't for Melanie. When Scarlett was shouldering the responsibility at Tara, she didn't notice that the sick Melanie was right there beside her, helping her with her load. When Scarlett shot the Yankee soldier, Melanie was right there, sward in hand, ready to help bury him. When the entire town of Atlanta wanted nothing to do with Scarlett, Melanie and Melanie alone, not Rhett, not Ashley, just Melanie stood beside her, ready to take on the world if need be. Even when Scarlett and Ashley were caught in questionable circumstances, Melanie refused to believe it and turned her cousin out. (which I think Melainie did because she didn't want to believe it) Melanie took her hardships and did everything she could for the ones she loves; heroism. Scarlett is a strong woman who lacks a heart for others. Melanie is a strong woman who loves (at times blindly) the people she loves and protects the people that she loves. Take your pick, but they couldn't have survived without each other.

At the same time, honorable Ashley may not have been so honorable after all. He married Melanie and I really think that he loved Melanie but he was infatuated with Scarlett. For me, this was the difference between love and lust. He loved Melanie but lusted after Scarlett and he really wanted to choose Melanie but Scarlett was so gosh-darn pretty. Fiddle-de-de!

All in all, this is a novel about human folly, and how humans deal with difficult situations. The Civil War ended life as the Southern elite knew it. When something like that happens, every one is going to deal with it a little bit differently. Scarlett took matters into her own hands and come hell or high water, she was going to take care of things in her own way. Melanie did what she could for others, no matter how poor she was, Rhett made money from exploiting and then tried to change his ways, Ashley was left with nothing to do because even though he knew that the South might not win the war, he had no idea what that really meant. This story tells how four different people dealt with some very difficult times. It took me about a month to read but I enjoyed it all. Hear that? Gone with the Wind actually has literary credit and is worth reading, even if it is 1030 pages.

                                                                    (funniest skit ever!)

My perfect pairing for this book is a window seat in the sun with a cup of tea or hot chocolate. Put on your southern airs and enjoy a well written book that will take you back to another time and place. Good read.

Next up, in honor of the new Peter Jackson movie, the book that began it all; The Hobbit

Christmas and Other Thoughts

You thought you could get away... But I am back!!!!

If I have to come right out and say it, I am disappointed in my blog. I imagined this grand site like on the Julie and Julia Project. I mean think about it, the premise is the same!! Needless to say, it isn't turning out quite like I imagined. But now I see that my imagination was flawed. Really, I expected a lot. Too much. My mom would say that is just like me. I expect a lot from myself and the people around me. When I do something I want it to be on a grand scale but that simply isn't going to happen. Honestly, after dealing with high schoolers all day, it is exhausting to come home and be witty on the internet. So I have slacked on the blog, but I realized that the thing that I enjoy most is the reading. I am really enjoying the books I have read so far and the blogging is just something I am doing to keep track. I have just finished Gone with the Wind, but more on that later because with an epic book, it deserves and epic blog post. Let me just say, this book was epic!

I need to cover some things. First of all, I am letting go of how many followers I have or how many comments I get. I will do my part and put it out there better then I have been and I would really like for people to comment back. It makes me feel loved. No pressure, I know that I am loved, I also know that my blog topic is not one that people get too excited about, just nerds like me. So fellow nerds, POST! Those non-nerds, feel free to read and laugh at my ridiculousness... just go for it!

Second, I have joined the modern, electronic age. That is right folks, I am now reading my books on a super-cool Barnes and Noble Nook Color. My husband decided to take a trip to Colorado when he and a friend of his had a week off, which left me at home in one of the most stressful parts of the semester. I had a 20 page paper due for my masters class and I was wrapping up the semester with a group of students that just REALLY wanted to be done. (yes, yes, I know Dr. Gibson, cakes and cookies are done, people are finished... but... deal with it!) I think that he felt bad for me so he did something that he knew would make me happy, he bought me a Nook. Isn't he wonderful?! Truth is, it was terrible at first. Here I was with this HUGE paper to finish and all I wanted to do was open that Nook and read... Terrible problem, right? Long story short, I finally finished that boring paper and the first night of Winter Break found me at home with my Nook and hot chocolate. I am not going to join in the debate about which is better: I-pad, Kindle Fire or the Nook, simply because I don't care! Get what works best for you and shut up and read! :-)

Last, New Years Resolutions. I was reading a friends update on Facebook and she was talking about New Year's Resolutions and I groaned. I always have such high hopes for myself. (shocking, I know) I set these lofty goals and then get sad when they don't turn out like I imagined. So I am making a New Year's Resolution about my New Year's Resolutions: this year I am going to keep it simple. I am going to set goals that I can reach, and by golly, I am going to (try) and stick to them!!!
1: My husband and I bought a trainer for our bikes, I am going to use it at least 3 times a week and be ready for Bike Across Kansas.
2: I am going to cut down on how much sugar I eat. (I could say that I will no longer eat sugar but that is one of those goals that will be broken, I like sugar. However, I can cut it down! I don't need cookies and candy every day!)
3: (Ok this one is a big one) I am going to learn to let things go. There are things that I cannot control and that is something I need to give up. I can't do everything. I will give 100% of me, if that isn't good enough for them... well... they can go eat a cookie. (yes kids, "cookie" in this sense means something else entirely.)



So there you have it. My return to the blog-o-sphere.